Whether you’ve endured a recent loss of someone very close or you were a witness to the death of a friend or a public figure, the undeniable truth of grief’s pain is likely knocking at your heart’s door. The depth of this pain, especially, if the loss was dear to you, might turn you numb at first. Finding yourself not wanting to think about it and turning to anything you can to avoid having your heart crushed can be the manner in which you deal with the grieving process for some time. There are moments when something quite the opposite may happen, and you are, for a myriad of reasons, unable to avoid confronting the reality of the loss, as it can unhinge so many doors of the past and the depth and intensity of your grief cannot be denied.
To move through a period of grief does not have a formula, it is so very personal. Some people know what they need during these times and some people discover their needs as the process unfolds. Some get stuck, confused, lost and decide that professional help might be a good resource to consider in clarifying and understanding of what has occurred, while others would find meaning and purpose in the opportunity to discuss the implications of their loss. Despite where you are on your journey, it might be helpful to know that the seemingly unending sadness you feel, the uncertainty that grief engenders, the struggle with reaching out for help or the realization that many of the decisions you’ve made in your life were to protect yourself from fear and pain can all be aspects of the intricate grieving process. The road to acceptance of loss may never have a stopping point, but you may find yourself able to travel this road with more ease and more gratitude for the memories you still hold and the love you still carry, despite of that person’s absence.
To talk about the death and the impact it has upon us, to continue to relive the memories of those we have loved during our shared journeys, and to feel the pains and gifts of it all is sometimes all we can do. Whether this very personal conversation stays with your family and friends, your religious/spiritual figures, your therapist or your own self would be the decision for you to arrive to. Just as the internal process of grief uniquely belongs to you, so will your choice with whom you will share your private experiences.