So how are you feeling about this holiday season? How is it really going for you? How are your emotions? Are you feeling the holiday spirit? Are you feeling overwhelmed? Are you dealing with grief? How do you deal with all of these things?
For me I like to write, and write about my feelings whether they are good, bad, ugly or indifferent. I also like talking about it in a way that I can be real, honest and not judged.
I like dance and sing it out. Other times I go for long walks, or I go to the beach and sit on rocks, so I can people watch and just be present in the moment and relax.
I will say that grief is very difficult, and there are so many things going on right now in this world in addition to grief. I don’t like the new normal, it doesn’t make me happy and it isn’t uplifting but it is something we have to get through, and we will get through it. I realize that all that is going on in this world assists in making grief that much more challenging to deal with. Sometimes with grief you can’t really move or even speak, and sometimes you are not even aware of what you are going through, you just know that something is off. When dealing with grief and a loss we are trying to balance so much, past memories, our current feelings, and our current way of life. I am here to remind you to be kind and patient with yourself in the process.
When you lose someone close to you, how do you deal with it during the holidays? How significant is that loss to you? How do you move forward, while still keeping their memory alive?
There are so many questions we ask ourselves, and we will figure them out in time. This holiday season I urge you to try something new, and do something significant for you and your family and find ways to celebrate. Remember that we still have to go on, but at the same time we still need a way to keep our memories alive.
I lost my daughter and it will be a year on December 21st. Every year I get my children an ornament, and so this year I will continue to give her an ornament but this time it will be an angel to represent her, her joy, her love, her memory, and her watching over my family and I. You are allowed to talk about your loved one, you are allowed to express your feelings, you don’t have to stuff your feelings down, and you don’t have to live up to others expectations in regards to how you “should grieve” according to someone else’s ideals. Grieve in a way that is healthy and comforting for you, get help, talk to your family, talk to your therapist, write, or utilize art, remember that we get comfort from so many different things and if we keep our feelings in we don’t allow ourselves to process them. I’ll highlight that we did get though Thanksgiving, and more holidays are coming up, so keep in mind that you are allowed to express your feelings this holiday season. Make the holidays and New Years unique for you, and make it so you can get through it in a healthy way.